Apologize

Everybody knows that I’m a dancer. Everybody knows that I am an athlete of world dance sport federation and almost everybody knows that I am the italian champion.

What people don’t know it’s How I started to dance.

Well for those who don’t know I was a dancer since I was inside my mom. She told me that she felt so comfortable dancing with me, because I always reacted well when she put the music on. Yes, my mom was a dancer too. She hasn’t been a competitor like me, but she danced and she still does. If you talk to her probably she says that she was a gymnast and that she won some titles, but that’s another story. Anyway let’s say that she was an artist. My father was an acrobatic Rock’n’Roll dancer. He was quite good and I even watched him on the TV doing some acrobatic stuff. After that he started to dance and study the Ballroom and Latin American Dancing.

By the way you can easily understand that from these two people my DNA couldn’t be different. That’s what I call “Born to dance”.

But now let’s go back to the focus point.

I honestly remember that when I was three years old I was in love or better say, I was obsessed with one song: The rhytm of the night.  Always the same song playing all day all days. Everytime I heard that song I felt so happy like it was the first time I heard it.

The strange thing I always did when this song was on was to move my hips with the short laces completely loose, bacause I wanted to see them moving on the music. Longer they were happier I was. How strange ehm?

Don’t worry you can think about it. I do it too.

But the best part hasn’t still arrived.

I was six years old and I was dancing everywhere exept in my father’s dance school. Yes, after his studies he became a great dance teacher.

One day my mom came to me and she told me that probably it was a good idea to start to dance in our dance studio instead of dancing in every corner of our home, risking to break someting. I looked her into the eyes and I just said: “Ok!” 

The next day I was so excited to be on my first dance lesson that I couldn’t think about anything else.

I was so ready to get crazy once the music stared but, it was not exactly like that. Suddenly my father started to speak?? Someting was wrong for me and I was so disappointed that I didn’t want to join that kind of stuff anymore.. He said that we should have been straight with our spine and that we should have kept the posture. I felt like I couldn’t move anymore. I felt so stiff. I tried for a few minutes but at one point I was so tired that I started to speak with some other kid there, because I didn’t like the lesson at all! My father came to me and said: “Go immediately out from the dance hall and come back only if you really want to dance, not to speak”.

So, I went without even think one more second and as proud as I am, I left.

Once I got back at home I told to my mom about how dad was wrong with me. I was waiting for some agreement with me from her, but she said that dad was right and I was wrong, and that I should have gone to my father to apologize. What? I thought: “What is going on today ?”.

I couldn’t believe that my mother was completely on his side, because for me he should have apologized to me, not the other way around. As a very proud person which I am, I didn’t say sorry to my father. Not that day. Not the next day. Not the next week and not the next month.

After a full year, when I was seven years old, I was literally dying inside, because I wanted to dance so much and I understood that I was the one being wrong, not my dad, not my mom… Just me.

Even in that case I didn’t want to say sorry to my father. So one day, before dad came home I went to my mom while she was ironing some clothes, and I told her that I wanted to dance so much and that she should have been talking to my dad, in order to let me come back to the dance school. She said: “Vito you don’t have to tell this to me, but to your father. It’s just one simple word, which you know very well. So when he will come back, if you really want to dance so much as you say, you already know what you need to do”.

In that exactly moment I understood what does it mean take the resposibility for my own mistakes. So I went to my room, thinking about the best way to say that special word.

Once my father was at home, while he was having his dinner I went to him slowly and very silent. Suddenly I said between the teeth: “Dad s..ry”. He of course understood straight away what I wanted to say, but because he was prouder than me, he looked at me and he said: “What?! I cannot hear you. Can you repeat please?”. In that moment I wanted to kill him, but I tried again. The second time was worse than the first one.

So I got extremely angry that I screamed very loud: “ SORRY!”.

He looked at me and he picked me up on his knees, hugging and telling me: “You took an entire year to say sorry, but it means that now you are ready to listen and to learn. See you tomorrow in the dance hall”.

I was so happy that I amost cried. I could go to the dance studio again and I was very proud of myself. But at the same time I was thinking how “easy” was to say sorry that I got angry with myself. I realized how much time I wasted during that year. In so many occasions I had the chance to say sorry and I didn’t do it. – Why was I so stupid – I thought.

But at the end I understood, and since that moment my attitude and approach to learning something changed completely, and It’s one of the best things I have ever improved in my life.

A few years later I understood even better what happened.

I changed my mindset because all that new world around me started to be different and suddenly clear.

All those restrictions and rules that suffocated me during my first lesson was not a jail as I thought, but had a name. Its name was “Discipline”.

My goal achieved through this experience is to make you think about how very often things are simple and we complicate them.

How many times we loose opportunity, time, relationships and people, only because of our “Pride”?

It’s so difficult to say Sorry. Isn’t it?

Don’t let the chance and the people you love to most to go away from you, because they could never come back again, and after maybe could be too late.

Catch it! Catch them! Catch whatever you need to catch, in order to catch as last destination Love, Peace and Happiness.

“When you forgive, you free your soul. But when you say I’m sorry, you free two souls”

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